chaos

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I’m in the middle of one of those weeks which is like a really bad Italian opera. Not one of the great ones, but one of those flabby, cut-and-paste jobs that were just trying to make a fast buck. There is too much high emotion, raised voices and an unlikely plot.

Life with teenagers is not always easy. Life with two highly strung teenagers, both with mental health issues, can really suck. Week four of the school term, the nights are drawing in, homework is piling up, and there is a sudden flurry of assessments. Both kids, in their different ways, buckle under the strain. There are lots of tears, a lot of catastrophising and an overdose is taken (yet again).

I calm, coach, encourage and insist. I drive, cook and shop. I negotiate with school. I phone psychiatrists and therapists. As an after thought, I sometimes work. I don’t sleep, laugh or relax as much as usual.

I think, Why are my kids like this? What did I do wrong? What could I do differently?

I am sorry I had to miss a key meeting at work, sorry I forgot to go to the nurse for my blood test, sorry I failed to return my neighbour’s call, sorry there was nothing in the house to eat one evening. But it was all I could do to survive this week.

But hey, I wrote my blog post: and this weekend I shall bake some bread.

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5 comments
  1. tric said:

    Wow sometimes life is just so very difficult. Hang in there. You have got this far. As for your kids, I hope in your heart you know you have done nothing wrong. I’m glad you got to blog, sometimes it is healing or it helps to clear the mists. Sending you hugs, I think you could do with a couple.

    • thanks so much tric. I think I do know deep down that this is just chance that they are going through this, but of course when things are bad…! i’m glad i wrote about it – it’s reminded me that there have been weeks like this before, and i always knew there would be weeks like this occasionally.

      • tric said:

        And don’t forget that reaching out to strangers is sometimes easier than trying to speak with friends. Contact me anytime, you should never feel alone. I am sure you know others also who can share your difficult days and enjoy the good times.

  2. Yep, I get you – my son asked me this morning why I didn’t tackle DD1 over the migration of towels to her bedroom floor, and I said I have to prioritise – he hasn’t noticed that I have had to spend two morning so far this week in meetings at his school….And work, and fill in firms, and deal with meltdowns and and and

    ((hugs))) hope it gets better xd

    • I suppose it’s better that they don’t notice sometimes. Thanks for the hugs.

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